The Zed Awards
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Shamelessly stolen from a very good friend (love you Tato, mwah <3).
Game awards suck, right? We can all admit they do? Don’t The Game Awards fill you with bile? Are other sites’ game awards blatantly paid for by big studios? Are you mad at Dave the Diver? Well so am I.
There are no rules for this awards list, except for the part that I had to have played them this year. Release date doesn’t matter.
The Big Budget Game of the Year - Baldur’s Gate 3
The Big Game of the Year is what other people put as their GOTY, as in - humongous budget, Hollywood style, for Marvel fans (derogatory, usually).
That’s why I’m giving the Big Game of the Year award to Baldur’s Gate 3
Come on are you even surprised
Everyone lavished the game in tongue baths already, what’re you acting all surprised for? I Am Not Immune to Propaganda™️
I must admit, I don’t think I even finished Act 1, but my GOD the game is so much fun.
The Actual Game of the Year - Pizza Tower
Speaking of games being fun!
Y'ALL READY TO GET FUNKY
THAT'S RIGHT THE GAME OF THE YEAR IS PIZZA TOWER
If anyone’s ever talked to me for the past YEAR, they’d know I cannot shut up about Pizza Tower. If it’s not about the level design, it’s about the music (spoilers). If it’s not about music, it’s about the movement design. If it’s not about movement design, it’s about the graphics. If it’s not graphics, it’s about the Bumbles McFumbles video about Pizza Tower (spoilers, again).
Anyone who likes platformers, or even videogames in general, owes it to themselves to play Pizza Tower. It is the most fun you can have with a controller that’s rated below PEGI 18.
The Almost Game of the Year - Hi-Fi Rush
The second game I would not shut up about was the Tango Gameworks masterpiece Hi-Fi Rush. It’s just a straight up Fun Game, with great characters, great gameplay, great art style. This is what we need to funnel our budgets into, people! Not John Shootsgun’s Contemporary Warfare: Live Service Edition, now with extra Battle Royale!
The only reason it’s not GOTY is because it came out in such a stacked year that it had to fight against Armored Core 6, Baldur’s Gate 3 and Pizza Tower.
The Game I Cannot Put Away Award - Risk of Rain 2
For some people, it’s The Binding of Isaac: Rebirth. For others, it’s Final Fantasy XIV. For me, it’s Risk of Rain 2. Utterly addicting gameplay loop, absolute bop of a soundtrack by Chris Christodolou, aesthetically pleasing graphics, and the potential to turn my PC into a space heater with how many particles it has to render.
The Game I Was Shocked I Liked Award - Signalis
I am not a person with a penchant for horror. One time I had a problem falling asleep, because I watched Nexpo’s Walten Files video beforehand. But Signalis is not just scary, it’s overbearing, it fills you with dread, it makes you fear - not the game - it makes you fear for your survival. I survived the game by the skin of my teeth.
Not only that, the game is a sapphic magnum opus. The struggles of the characters in the game as they fight to keep the last slivers of love in their lives while it’s being stripped away by the disease is heartwrenching.
Play the game. Do it. Become a liker of spacebians.
The Person I Like Watching Award - Bumbles McFumbles
Bumbles McFumbles has absolutely enraptured my brain, in the same way Yahtzee Croshaw (the ZP is dead, long live FR) did. Jack’s passion for the craft, as well as his comedic genius, are second to almost none. Please go watch all of his videos, especially his breakout videos Which Punch Out!!! Boxer is the Biggest Cheater? and the sequel, as well as his Pizza Tower video and his Blood will Tell video. There are more, but I must exercise restraint, before I just link every single video on his channel.
The Best Soundtrack Award - Pizza Tower
As mentioned in the previous section, Pizza Tower has the biggest library of total BANGERS I’ve ever seen in a game. Not a single track in the soundtrack goes below “great”. The highlights being Bye-Bye There, Oregano Mirage, and of course…
The Smelled Game Award - Guilty Gear Strive
We already know the smell of the game. And the smell is blood from how much Bridget players are zoning me.
The Most Fun with Friends Award - Worms: Ultimate Mayhem
Go watch Worms with the Squirms. That’s all.